I chose to pull a quote from page 68 to 69 of I Don’t Understand Those Who Have Turned Away From Me by Chrystos. “All the schools & crazy houses I was in were simply brainwashing & most of the feminist movement that I worked so hard to be a part of was propaganda. This is heresy but it held no solution for me. Surely Jane suffers oppression on her job because she is a woman. All the problems and issues which feminism raises are valid & important. It simply does not give me any answers for correct behavior in my own life. Certainly I won’t obey that lesbian mafia nonsense that one must dress in a certain way or cut off one’s hair to be real. Those are all the most superficial rules silly I no longer believe that feminism is a tool which can eliminate racism – or even promote better understanding between different races & kinds of women I have felt less under- standing between different races & from many lesbian women than I do from some straight people. At least their heterosexual indifference allows me more freedom to be myself I felt so much stricture & censorship from lesbians I was supposed to be a carpenter to prove I was a real dyke….The lies, pretensions, the snobbery & cliquishness The racism which bled through every moment at every level The terrifying & useless struggle to be accepted The awful gossip, bitchiness, backbiting &jealousy The gross lack of love. I left the women’s movement utterly drained. I have no interest in returning.”  This essay relates to the other works in this anthology in more ways than one. It talks about those in your immediate circle prescribing identity –  like in the essay I Am What I Am by Rosario Morales. It touches on race like every work within this book. Chrystos talks about the white woman’s lack of true alliship, like in the poem And When You Leave Take Your Pictures With You by Jo Carrillo. 

I chose this quote because I think it perfectly illustrates the expectations and impositions of identity that are often ascribed by those who supposedly fight to gain the right for individuals to define themselves. I am a feminist, but I often find that most impositions related to defining one’s self comes from the women around me who also call themselves feminists. Maybe in reality this statement isn’t true, and the men around me do it more, but it stings more from someone you expect to be an ally to other women. I don’t often get other women or even men telling me how I personally should be because I have a very dominant demeanor and I don’t take shit from anyone, but I am always hearing from my friends who identify as women, how they think other women should act especially in relation to men or in their outward appearance. There are so many rules – you always have to support other women, you always have to be independent, you can’t dress a certain way or have certain interests. It’s exhausting and disheartening. It reminds me of what Gloria Steinem said about women who supported Bernie over Hillary in the 2016 election. She said “There’s a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women.” This comment to me is ridiculous because women should be able to support whoever they want to and do whatever they want without the expectation of choosing someone just because they are a woman. In asserting what a woman ought to do – she is effectively stripping away the woman’s right to choose. You can’t base a movement of empowerment and self identity around dogmatic criteria.